When I was 13, I woke up and logged into MySpace first thing in the morning, ecstatic at the sight of notification upon notification at the home page.
New friend requests. Approve, approve, approve.
New picture comments. You think I'm cute? Thx. U too.
New comments. Hye.
My name was Sheera, but my surname was a group's name, a group that I identified myself as a part of. It felt nice to have the name of the group as my surname, it felt like I belonged to a certain untouchable clique, and that automatically elevated my status on the hierarchy of the virtual world.
Selecting top friends was a chore, because uh why would I put this girl as my top 8 if she didn't put me on hers? But maybe if I initiate it, she'd reciprocate the act?
I spent hours juggling with HTML codes to make sure that my profile looks fab. Comment link? Pfsh please, I had a comment box ok. I also had a playlist of all the latest songs so that anyone who visited my profile had an all encompassing pleasurable experience, visually and audibly.
You best bet my pictures were all toilet selfies, with all the possible filters layered on top of each other.
Ahhh. MySpace era = my zaman jahiliah.
Wish there's a way for me to completely wipe out everything about MySpace from my memories & anyone who ever knew me on that platform, I really want to destroy all evidence of my zaman jahiliah, leaving no trail behind. So that I can say I have forgotten all about MySpace.
But I can't.
Because truth be told, I remember everything. I wish I don't, but I do. I desperately want to forget it, because man I was so ugly and so unabashed and so rempit ok it's mortifying hahaha.
But that's the thing, my mind does this thing whereby it holds onto embarrassing things like MySpace instead of clearing the way to store useful information, like the anatomy of circle of Willis that supplies blood to the brain, for instance.
Oh my God, who remembers answering surveys on the bulletin?! Hahaha. I used to do it all the time, it's like laying my self bare for everyone to see, even though I knew no one bothered to look. But it was fun! So today I googled random fun funny questions and thought I'd make a blog post out of them.
Here we go, danger.
Question 1: When did you screw everything up, but no one ever found out it was you?
Ohohoho this is a trick question isn't it? Halus permainan dia, halus. No way jose I'm divulging it, I'm carrying this top secret information with me to my grave hewhew.
Question 2: What would you name your boat if you had one?
Idk, not sure I'd want one. Might sell it off if I had one though, and then use the money to buy enough nasi lemak and serunding to ensure a lifetime of happiness.
Question 3: What will finally break the internet?
Question 4: What celebrity would you rate as a perfect 10?
Okay I think we all know that I'd answer Park Min Young in a heartbeat. But others on my list :
- Seulgi from Red Velvet (dances like a dream and has cute bear-like tendencies and owns my dream closet and uh her abs!!)
- Taeyeon from SNSD (it's uncommon for me to listen to whole albums and enjoy every single track, but I've been listening to her new album for over a week now and I don't foresee myself getting sick of it anytime soon)
- Lisa Surihani (beauty with brains, and her rhotacism is cuuute)
- Ji Chang Wook (fell in love with him in Healer, thought it was just the character that I find charming but this Instagram post sealed the deal for me. Officially in love because cuuuuuteeeee)
- Byun Baekhyun (I'd pay good money to hear him singing his beautiful voice live and dancing his sharp moves and frolicking around on stage like the lovely idiot that he is)
- Farid Kamil (liked him since my teenage years because I
hadhave a thing for Chinese-looking guys, but is it just me or he's gotten way handsome-r after getting married?)
Question 5: Which fictional character would be the most boring to meet in real life?
Ross from Friends. He'll bore me to death with his ceaseless dinasour talk (yawns). And Hermione from Harry Potter kot.
Question 6: What is the best and worst purchases you’ve ever made?
Best : hmm idk can't think of any right now.
Worst : I'm like the easiest target any salesperson can guilt-trip into buying ANYTHING. One time a beauty salesperson at Whiteleys (Queensway) pulled me and convinced me that I needed a diamond-infused moisturiser to make my life worth living. I ended up being £80 poorer and having a breakout soon after...
Question 7: If you had to change your name, what would your new name be, and why would you choose that name?
Oh oh oh I've always wanted a Malay flower name. Like Melur, or Cempaka, or Mawar, or Dahlia. But mcm dah ramai orang nama mcm tu right so why not be bold and different? Why stop at flowers? Why not leaves? Daun limau purut. Or daun aloe vera. Be unique.
Question 8: What are some things that sound like compliments but are actually insults?
Hahah when I was in KY, I used to struggle at giving an appropriate response to "Omg Sheera you don't look like a national scholar!"
Question 9: What’s a body part that you wouldn’t mind losing?
My nails actually. I envy people with kuku gelas. Mine macam kuku periuk
Question 10: What’s your biggest screw up in the kitchen?
Hahaha. Banyak sebenarnya, I've written about some of them (the wok incident) (the ikan steam incident). But as a general rule of thumb, I always screw up whenever I have to deep fry something. Ugh. Tak suka. Nanti minyak meletup meletup pastu sakit kena kulit. You know what needs to be invented? An apron that covers every inch of the body. Like an astronaut suit, but for the kitchen.
Question 11: What’s the worst commercial you’ve recently seen? Why is it so bad?
"I'm pregnant. Really? 2 weeks. You already went to the doctor? Not yet, but I took this new clear blue test." AND ALL THE OTHER UNSKIPPABLE ADS ON YOUTUBE TO BE HONEST.
Question 12: What’s the closest thing to real magic?
Video calls, from Skype to Oovoo to Facetime. Amazing.
Question 13: What is the craziest thing one of your teachers has done?
Okay this isn't particularly crazy, but it's funny and a bit unexpected coming from a teacher. In KY, my favourite teacher is Mr Vroege. He's an English man, he taught me Biology. He has three sons and then one day his wife finally gave birth to a daughter and a few months after that I asked him "How's your daughter Mr Vroege?" "Oh she's gorgeous! We decided to keep her" hahahaha
Question 14: Who is the messiest person you know?
My younger brother. There is no ground for you to step on in his room because every inch is covered in his laundry and God knows what
Question 15: What problem or situation did TV / movies make you think would be common, but when you grew up you found out it wasn’t?
Love at first sight..?
Question 16: What quote or saying do people spout but is complete BS?
"Age is just a number". Age is obviously a word...
Question 17: What’s something your brain tries to make you do and you have to will yourself not to do it?
I'm at that stage of medical school whereby I can't talk to another person without staring at his/her plump, juicy veins and wanting to draw blood out of them....
Question 18: What is the dumbest way you’ve been injured?
Okay so when I was around 5 or 6 mcm tu, I cycled with a bike that had trainer wheels on each side of the back tire. I went up a hilly side of the neighbourhood, solely because I wanted to enjoy the way down. Wind in my face. Didn't need to pedal. It was just gravity doing its job. And then I felt like it was going way too fast so I got scared and my knee jerk reaction was to try brake manually by using the back of my heels on the trainer wheels instead of using the built in brakes like any normal person would.... Cerdik bestari tak Shahirah Hasbullah... As a result from grazing the back of my heels, they bled like crazy, and until now I still have the scars.
Question 19: If you could know the absolute and total truth to one question, what question would you ask?
Hmmmmmm. Can't think of any right now, probably because I'm scared to know the answer so I tell myself that I don't want to know the answer at all. Because what you don't know can't hurt you haha
Question 20: What’s the most interesting thing you’ve read or seen this week?
- I just finished Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo earlier this week. By no means perfect but I enjoyed it regardless. There was so much hype surrounding the main couple during its air time, and I do agree that they're adorable, but I'm surprised that no one told me that the drama is a lot more about coming of age struggles, overcoming insecurities, friendship, loyalty, family, etc. Also, no one warned me that I'd be attacked by my Healer feels once I learned that Jung Joon Hyung is such a tragically wounded character? :( Don't mind me, I have a thing for heroes with scarred history.
- Also, haritu can't remember who but someone posted on Instagram a picture of a birthday cake made out of fruits. Like legit fresh fruits, something like this. MY DREAM BIRTHDAY CAKE.
- Ulfah and I have been spending our Saturday afternoons live streaming Gema Gegar Vaganza. I can't remember my last time being this hooked to a Malaysian TV programme, probably AF2 (Farah breep breep!), so it feels a little nostalgic to have a Malaysian show to look forward to on a weekly basis. Anyway, Mirwana and Hijjaz blew me away!!! GOOSEBUMPS.
Question 21: What ridiculous thing has someone tricked you into doing or believing?
All those "forward this email to avoid 20 years of bad luck" emails that 12-year-old Shahirah obliged to....
Question 22: If you were given a one-minute ad slot during the Super Bowl that you couldn’t sell, what would you fill it with?
Question 23: What’s the most useless talent you have?
I can stay still for long enough to buat-buat stuck on Facetime just so I can enjoy the "Sheera? Sheera?? Ala stuck lah!!" grumble haha
Question 24: What would be on the gag reel of your life?
My entire life....?
Question 25: Where is the worst smelling place you’ve been?
The perfume floor of any department stores. Sakit kepala byk sgt bau