I cried today and it was not because of a KDrama.
I was talking to Amie on Facetime and as usual, our conversation ran the gamut from the deepest, sombre topics, to nonsensical jokes, to just plain banter exchange. We dissected the current KDramas that we're watching. I went on complaining about my ever expanding cheeks, we brainstormed ways to deflate them : contouring? Too much effort & time required, and let's be honest here, my makeup applying finesse is... Nought. Face exercise? My logic tells me that if doing push ups make biceps bulky and hard, continuously moving my facial muscles will just make my cheeks sturdy and robust. That's counter productive, so no thank you hahaha. Amie settled for "Aku rasa kau biarkan je lah pipi kau mcm tu, aku sayang kau seadanya,". She explained about some strange Dentistry stuff. We discussed about the possible prospect of her coming to the UK to visit me in the future (!!! I hope it happens amin amin amin). We spazzed about my coming back to Malaysia soon and the many things we'll do and the cornflake madu that she'll make for Eid (and that I'll finish dengan tak tahu malunya). We talked about our current day in, day out routines and how we've been coping with our demanding schedules.
In the middle of laughing at each other and with each other, we somehow got to talking about relationships and things along that line.
That was when my eyes suddenly became Niagara Falls.
I cried because we were not having giddy, butterflies in stomach, head in the clouds sort of conversations about having a crush & being smitten in love, but we were talking about the commitment of being in a relationship and what it entails past that period of novelty. We were talking about how relationships shouldn't be about ownership/possession, but rather about 2 souls who are in an ongoing journey towards the betterment of themselves, together, side by side. Our convo kind of heralded Amie's transition into the next stage of her life and it's just baffling guys!! How did we get from our awkward, ugly 13-year-olds MySpace stage to this stage?! Wasn't it just yesterday that we were coming up with plans about how Amie should make a move to the senior that she had a crush on in high school? 9 years ago both of us would instinctively jump at any chance to so much as smile to the boys we'd had our eyes on, let alone be romantically involved with them. Yet there she was today, her face spread across the screen, doing a double take, doubtful if she should take the plunge or not. Gone is the youthful bravado to dive head first into the unknown. That was when I realised that the new girl who stepped into 1 Cemerlang mid-2007 has metamorphosed into a completely different person now, yet still my very same best friend in the core. To watch Amie grow and blossom into the mature, kind-hearted, wonderfully fine young lady that she is now, is a privilege.
I conjured mental images of Amie getting married and having a husband to be the person she tells anything and everything to and it broke my heart because I used to be that person.
I cried because once she's off the market, she'll surely spend a lot of time with her husband and I will no longer be allowed to Facetime her anytime I want. Every other day Facetime calls will turn into a weekly thing, and then fortnightly.
Mamak sessions almost every night will get rationed to once a month.
Plans will get cancelled because visiting in laws, monthly antenatal check ups, and then little Amies come into the picture and before we know it, we drift off and get estranged.
It'll be the era of iPhone 70S and she'll probably even pull a "New phone who dis?". The horror!!!!!
These are just the inner workings of my mind but man I couldn't stop crying at the possibilities and Amie was just....... laughing at me. Dasar kawan sejati.
After laughing at my cengeng-ness, Amie reassured me that she'll always regard me as the best friend.
Well. She'd better!! Otherwise I'll infect her socks with nasty virus so she grows warts on her toes. Don't play play.
Haih. Amie's doomed to have a clingy friend like me but I am blessed to have a best friend like her! This girl is a gem and I thank God every day for letting our paths cross and I hope our friendship will stand the test of time (and men... Ugh. Joking). I wish for nothing but good things both in this world and the hereafter for this girl.
If she really wants to get married, then I wish her a lasting loving matrimony with a person who loves her on good and bad days, who continues to encourage her to grow and chase her dreams, who values her humour and charm and kindness and wit and beauty, who challenges her without demeaning her, who pulls her back to the right path should she go astray, who makes her closer to the Creator.