Saturday, 21 November 2015

The Right Person?

I wanted to cook mi kungfu on Thursday but I was running low on some of the ingredients, so I went out in the rain. Nowadays they charge 5p for every plastic bag, and adhering to the cheapskate lifestyle that I lead, I brought my own shopping bag. That's 5p saved!! Also, it does good to the environment so cheapskate life is the way to go, guys.

I figured I'd be carrying a shopping bag in one hand, it'd be too much of a hassle to hold an umbrella using the other hand. A hooded waterproof jacket, then. It wasn't raining cats & dogs anyway (welcome to the UK, where it rains kittens & puppies ALL day long) so a hooded jacket should be okay.

As I was walking, I noticed that a guy with an umbrella was walking in the opposite direction but I paid little regards to that fact & kept on walking.

Seconds later I realised that that guy was now walking next to me, in the same direction as me. Odd. But okay.

At one point, he turned slightly and looked at me and I kebetulan was looking at him as well so we made eye contact. He smiled, I gave a small nod & smiled back.

Suddenly he gave salam to me. I said waalaikumussalam.

At this point he was slowing down his pace to match mine (I walk pretty slow because short legs). He asked me if I'm from Indonesia. I answered that Indonesia is close to Malaysia and the people of both countries do look quite similar, in fact there's been a number of times that people here in the UK have mistaken me for an Indonesian. He went on asking me about where I study, what I study, whom I'm living with.

"Come walk under my umbrella, it's raining,"
"No it's okay, I have my hood so I'm alright,"
"You sure?? Just walk with me under the umbrella,"
"No really, I'm fine. Don't worry," strengthening my resolve.

He went on to make small talk with me, but I tried my best not to appear too interested or too disinterested even though to be honest, I was growing skeptical by every passing second. Suddenly he asked me to join him for a cup of coffee

which I politely declined, saying that I was in a rush to go somewhere.

Then he took out his phone, saying "Alright. Would you like to exchange telephone numbers with me?", ready to punch in my digits.

I retorted with "Umm I don't think that's a good idea," with the most kambing smile I could muster.

After wishing him a good day, I quickly went away without looking back.

Confession : 사실은 I would have thought of this whole incident as sweet had it been in a movie or a drama, but it happened in real life. And it happened to my real life. And when it did, I felt like it was more creepy than it was sweet. Creepy would be an understatement okay. I was terrified!

If it were a Korean namja then I prooooooobably would have said Ne to the coffee offer hewhew.

But then again how will I ever get to know someone new & fall in love if I keep saying No to meeting new people in the first place? How will someone enter my heart if I keep the door shut, locked with a padlock and security code? Had I said Yes to his offer, would we have had a nice chat in a quaint little cafe? Would we be able to talk about so many things of a wide spectrum, from one end to the other? Or would there be awkward silence between us?

It would be our first time meeting each other right, so what would be his first impression of me? Will he find me & my gelabah ways charming or exasperating? Will my jokes come off as funny or offensive to him? Will he pay for our coffee and would I menyesal tak order a dessert sekali alang-alang? Would we enjoy each other's company? Would he ask to meet for the second time, and the third? What if he sincerely just wanted to be friends? What if I actually missed the chance to befriend someone very interesting & remarkably inspiring?

What if he's actually working for a model agency and he was scouring for talent and he saw the potential in me from the way I walk?!

Oddly enough, these questions came to me with no trail of regret. Truth to be told, a massive wave of relief washed through me when I said No to him & quickly went away. Because my instincts told me so. The whole incident was nothing more than a coincidence involving a random stranger, no big deal.

If it were someone else, if it were the right person, I probably wouldn't have hesitated. If it were the right person, I probably wouldn't have to force it. If it were the right person, my instincts would tell me go for it, Sheera. If it were the right person, I would know, hopefully, and everything would be aligned in such a way that is too good to be just a coincidence, but a fate. I wouldn't think about it in retrospect only to realise the terrible blunder of letting such opportunity slip through. I'm sure God & His alchemy has got this sorted and under control, down to the little technicalities - where, when, who - so I need not worry.

Guess it was just not the right person that day.

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